A Blessing and a Curse

Growing your Power of Presence

While on vacation recently, we experienced a bit of a snafu with our phone wi-fi capability. One of the campgrounds only offered three days of free internet access and we were staying there for nine days. Rather than paying for the additional time so that I could do my normal online activity, I was relying on my hotspot. Being a writer and creator, I spend a lot of time online. This particular camping adventure afforded itself to provide a photographic travelogue of sorts to my blog readers. I had mostly forgotten that uploading photos eats data quickly. With several days left on our trip, my husband sounded the alarm that our provider had cut us off of data usage. Oops.

This forced withdrawal from the internet world quickly reminded me that being unplugged, while inconvenient at times, actually forces me to engage more in the present activities and that is indeed a good thing. Sadly, it took being cut off to remind me to put my phone away and just take in my surroundings and the company I was keeping. Online connection is something so many of us have come to rely on and even abuse. You see it in public spaces: people with heads down, staring at their phone screens and not engaging with their surroundings or people at all. Even though I try to avoid that scenario, I know I’ve been guilty. I have rarely looked at my screentime report and felt good about it being well managed.

I am not sharing this to point fingers or to shame anyone, but to make us think about how much we are missing by being overly connected to online activity. If you don’t see online connectedness as an addiction, you are not acknowledging a big truth in our current modern-day lifestyle. All of those social media sites, online games, apps connected with our interests, search engines with answers to all our pressing trivia questions or restaurant locations, keeping up with our favorite celebrities or politicians, are like drawing a bee to pollen. They suck our time and attention like nothing else. Having 24-hour access to the worldwide web is not all bad. It is a handy tool for so many resources and one that has been of great benefit to society in so many ways. A blessing and a curse.

I recently listened to a YouTube presentation (and by the way, YouTube is a HUGE time sucker for me) from Passion City Church called “The Power of Presence” where the effects of technology on all of us, but especially the younger generations was discussed. I was hit in the face with this quote from Joey Odum, a founder of a tech company named Aro which helps families navigate the technology world, “If we don’t change something, our kids’ generation will be the very first generation who will someday die with more of other people’s memories than they create on their own.” I immediately thought about my four grandchildren and what kind of example I was setting for them. As an adult influence in their lives, I need to model better. I need to put my phone down and engage with them directly every time I get the chance to spend time with them and ask them to do the same. Time is precious and I don’t want to lose my moments with them by checking my phone every few minutes. What behavior is modeled in grandparents and parents passes through the next three familial generations. That’s sobering!

Photo credit: intellectualtakeout.com

I write this post as just a nudge, a reminder to check the balance between your escapism and your presence. I include myself in this self-check. The panel of experts in the Passion City presentation offered three simple suggestions to help with our personal awareness and desire to be more present in life.

• Physically distance yourself from your devices on a regular basis. If you are responsible for someone and need access at all times, then find a way to put the screen out of sight and turn off all notifications except emergency contact. If you can do this for an hour each day, each month you gain more than a whole day of living in the present.

• Search for moments of deeper connection with your “real life”. Go for a walk and take in sights and sounds of nature. Start a conversation, set your phone aside and make eye contact. Spend time just thinking or journaling or engaging in any activity you find relaxing or rewarding. Remember what it feels like to not be wondering what’s happening online.

• Give yourself grace, but keep working at unplugging more. Look at the places you visit online and figure out what you could do without. Honor your progress with special outings or treat yourself to something you enjoy that furthers your appreciation of living presently.

I believe all of us can do these simple steps. But even more importantly, let’s help our kids and grandkids find value in being offline and engaged. Help them make technology more of a blessing than a curse. And just maybe we can help them create memories of their own, instead of those of others, that they can pass to the next generations.